Never Stop Loving You
by bones anatomy
Summary: What would happen to Owen if Cristina Yang died?
1. Pain

**Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended, this lovely show and its characters belong to Shonda.**

**A/N: Hey everyone! Upon hearing the saddening news that season 10 is Sandra Oh's last season, I decided to write a short 2 chapter fic of what could happen if Cristina was killed off. It's pretty much centered around Owen. It's a quick one. Enjoy :)**

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"Hunt. You don't have to do this; we understand if you're not ready to return to work after the accident."

He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. "Once again, Webber, I'm fine. It's been a week. Just because I've resigned as Chief doesn't mean I won't do surgeries anymore." Before Richard could respond, Owen pushed past him and began walking towards the O.R.

Derek immediately noticed the situation and stepped in front of him. "Hold on, what do you think you're doing? Do you honestly think it's okay to operate on patients when you're emotionally unstable?"

"Shepherd. Move out of my way." Owen clenched his teeth, trying to keep his calm. He began to step forward until Derek tried to restrain him. Owen shoved Derek against the wall and threateningly wrapped his hand around his neck, before a look of horror came across his own face. He quickly dropped Derek from his grip, watching him fall to ground coughing, then looking up in anger and fear. Owen opened his mouth to speak, but took a deep breath and slowly walked out of the hospital as everyone stared at him in shock.

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Once Owen stepped through the door of his house, he ran his fist into the wall next to him; not even wincing when the healing cuts on his knuckles tore open. "FUCK" he yelled, then sank to the floor sobbing.

Minutes went by as he sat there with his head against the wall, every second of that dreadful night replaying in his head. His thought was interrupted by footsteps.

"Owen…"

He immediately looked up. "Mered…wait how did you get in?"

"Door was open." She walked closer and sat next to him. "Sorry I just showed up without calling. You're just the only one who loved her as much as I did, and I really need to talk to someone who understands."

Owen forced a caring smile and looked at her. "I know, I just can't talk about it right now." After seeing the redness on his nose and the slight wetness around his eyes, she realized he'd been crying and put her hand over his to console him. "Please, Meredith." He took a slow breath.

She gave his hand a light squeeze. "I'll come back another day when you're ready, because I really can't hold this in and neither can you." He gave a slight nod; she stood up and began walking towards the bathroom sink to wash off the tears that were forming in her own eyes. Before turning the faucet on, a look of worry flooded her face.

"Owen? Why are there pills all over the sink?" She looked in despair at the scattered suicide attempt in front of her.

"Shit", he whispered as he got up from the floor, having no excuse for Meredith's discovery.

"You can't pull crap like this! Do you think she would want you to die too?" She stepped out of the bathroom and hurried towards him.

"I didn't okay I didn't!" He scoffed, avoiding eye contact. "I just…wanted to. You really should leave now."

"Owen…"

"LEAVE. Please." He walked her to the door and slammed it shut after she was far away enough not to hear it. He walked into his bedroom, gazing at the photo frame of Cristina's picture, where she was smiling and full of life. He threw himself onto the bed, grasping her cold pillow tightly as he shut his eyes, pretending he was holding her waist as her head rested on his chest, her curly hair against his lips. _If I just died, maybe I'd be with her again. _For a few seconds, he felt excitement. A joy he hadn't felt in a week. He got up from the bed and walked into his bathroom to find the pills he had spilled all over the sink the night before. They were gone. "Ugh, Meredith." He tightly rubbed his eyes and sighed. _Another day. Just wait, Cristina. Just wait for me. _He walked back to bed, once again imagining Cristina's body against his as he dozed off to sleep.

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**A/N: Short, right? It's 2 am and I'm too tired to finish it as a one-shot so I'm just splitting it into 2 chapters. This just set the story up, net one will have a lot more action and drive it into an ending I have planned :) Review? Thanks for reading!**


	2. Eternity

**A/N: Here we go, last part! :) **

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He opened his eyes and checked the clock. 4:27 am. He looked at the nightstand to find the photo frame of Cristina cracked and the lamp next to it fallen on the ground. _Of course the PTSD comes back now._ He managed to push himself out of bed and pull his clothes off to step into the shower. He let out a pained breath when the icy water stung his damaged skin and numbed the cuts. _What's the point anymore?_ He stepped out of the freezing shower and got dressed again, glimpsing at the sink where the pills used to be. He walked into the empty living room and drowned himself in alcohol, just to make the pain disappear, hoping that this time, he could just pass out and never wake up again.

The bottle of vodka dropped from Owen's hand and shattered onto the floor as the drowsiness took over and his eyes closed.

The flashback struck.

_"CRISTINA, LOOK AT ME; YOU WERE IN A CAR CRASH, STAY WITH ME, PLEASE, STAY WITH ME YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE…" He yelled, panting with intense panic. Her eyes strained trying to stay open as Owen's hands trembled on the wide gash on her chest in an attempt to slow down blood loss. "THE AMBULANCE IS ON ITS WAY, YOU CAN'T GIVE UP ON ME NOW" he cried._

_"Ow..owen?" she managed to cough out. "I'm sorry for what I sai…"_

_"STOP!" He could hardly breathe, "DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT CRISTINA, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE. DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU'RE GOING TO BE OKAY. FORGET ABOUT THE STUPID FIGHT, I KNOW YOU DIDN'T MEAN ANY OF WHAT YOU SAID AND NEITHER DID I. I LOVE YOU OKAY? I JUST NEED YOU TO HOLD ON FOR ME. I JUST NEED YOU TO…" He couldn't speak anymore. He was hyperventilating and his hands were shaking even more as he watched his life shattering in front of him, Cristina's eyes closing more and more. _

_His hands, now coated in blood, felt the beating of her heart slow down. "NO!" He screamed, rapidly pressing up and down on her heart to get it to continue beating. "WHERE'S THE FUCKING AMBULANCE?!" He yelled from the top of his lungs._

_"Owwenn…I love y…_–_" her heart stopped._

_"CRISTINA NOO NO No no n…" his words slurred into cries of pure horror and agony. He released his hands from her open wound and laid next to her, holding her lifeless body against him, weeping as he heard the siren of the ambulance coming._

_A little too late._

He jolted awake, breathing in quick pants and covered in sweat. _Holy shit I can't do this, I CAN'T DO THIS.._. He pushed the empty bottles aside and ran his hands through his messy hair. He shoveled through his drawers to find the gun he had kept for Cristina to feel safe after the hospital shooting years ago. He violently grasped the small yet powerful handgun and checked to see if it was stocked with bullets. He smiled slightly. _Finally. _He took the gun with him into the bedroom and picked up the photo frame. He stared at Cristina's face then whispered _"I love you so much that it hurts."_ He sighed a breath of relief and raised the gun to his head, not taking his eyes away from the photo. _It'll all be over now._ His finger pressed on the trigger.

_Bang._

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_"Owen…"_

_"Where am I? Cristina?!" His eyes opened. Cristina was standing inches away from him; everything in the background was blurry. All he could see was the love of his life in all white, standing in front of him. He saw tears forming in her eyes, but he felt no sadness. There was no sadness anymore. These were tears of joy._

_"Owen, I've missed you…" she threw her arms around him and their lips crashed together at last. It was the most passionate kiss either of them have ever had, full of nothing but relief, pure joy, and love._

_"Cristina…" Owen could finally see her perfect face again. He could finally touch her smooth skin again, and kiss her soft lips. Finally. "Am I dreaming?"_

_She chuckled and ran her fingers through his hair. "No, Owen. You're dead."_

_"And that means I get to stay here with you? Forever?" He asked, hopeful._

_Cristina smiled. "For eternity."_

_He pulled her in by her small waist and lustfully stared into her eyes as he leaned in for another kiss, this time assured that he won't lose her ever again._

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**A/N: Well how was it? :) I was considering leaving out that last part, but I couldn't be ****_THAT _****evil lol. More Crowen fics coming in the future. This was technically a one shot that I split in two…if that makes any sense. Review please?**


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